I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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