i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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