He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
