Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
