apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
