Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
