What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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