Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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