Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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