I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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