Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
