no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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