will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
