I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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