just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
