You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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