Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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