I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
