Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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