Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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