why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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