My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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