I seem to have left my pride at pride
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Randomize
