im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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