Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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