your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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