she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
