drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
