I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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