she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
