i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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