I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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