The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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