4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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