is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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