Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
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So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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