I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
