I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
