Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
