.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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