what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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