a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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