my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
