Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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