after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
