we're chasing vodka with high fives
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
