Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
