my soul wont recognize me after tonight
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
