Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
