i don't plan on having that self control this summer
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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