hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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