You're earring is so big in my mouth
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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