I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
