How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize