You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize