I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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