Betty ford says i'm here all night
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
