all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize