I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
