I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
