I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
