I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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