2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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