Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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