Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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