he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
