I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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